A Little Step into My Head

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to talk about 'The Hobbit'. After two disappointing films that were mostl pointless filler we have finally reached the dreaded conclusion. I thought I was ready. I thought my expectations were low enough. If there is one skill that Peter Jackson has, it's the unyielding ability to always find a new low. Although in a scene by scene comparison nothing can be worse than the barrel riding scene in 'Desolation of Smaug', as a whole, 'Battle of Five Armies' managed to leave me with an even larger pain in my stomach than any of it's predecessors. Do you want details? Well, I'm going to give them so buckle in. This movie is nothing but a soulless franchise that should be an eternal shame to everyone involved. All of the trite side plots that we have grown to loath continued, at their normal slothful pace. Yes, more vomit inducing dwarf/elf romance, Gandalf and his merry band doing things that have nothing  to ...

I saw the first installment of the 'Hobbit' trilogy opening day yesterday. I was greatly saddened. It. Is. Bad. So bad that I wish I hadn't seen it. So bad, that I don't think I will waste my time on any of the future installments. Peter Jackson took a wonderful, complete, enjoyable story and adulterated it nearly beyond recognition. Now, before you think I am just a purist who despises change, I'm not! Yes, I read all the 'Lord of the Rings' books as well as 'The Hobbit' growing up, and I understand that things change when you are translating a story from book to movie. This went beyond that. I have many specific problems. Yes, that is a stream of dried bird poop on his face. First, they added Radagast the brown wizard. Why in the heck of all creation would someone think that was a good idea? Let's add a totally unnecessary character and side plot that only confuses the audience and draws away from the real focus! It was terrible from ev...

All right people. As most everyone knows Mr. Peter Jackson is tackling 'The Hobbit'. I, along with many others, am confused as to whether we should be happy or sad about this. I must admit, at first I was giddy to hear that my favorite childhood book was finally getting a movie adaptation. Soon after we fans were slapped with the news that is was to be split in two parts. Now we know it's going to be split in three and I feel like someone sucker punched me. Why do you hate me Jackson? If you saw fit to cram all of 'Return on the King' into one film you should do me the courtesy of not splicing 'The Hobbit'! Not only does the split sting of greed, both in the box office and in DVD sales, but it will darken all replay value. Honestly, it it were one nice movie one could watch it on a drippy winter evening. In three pieces you are forced to throw a marathon every time you feel a little hobbit-ish! It's insanity. I am not even going to start on the fact th...